Are you not entertained?
Helping my daughter stay when leaving is too easy.
Hi, frens! Welcome back to This is the Top, and I’d like to give a special hello to my new subscribers. This week, I’m putting my parenting skills on display. Feel free to judge me in the comments.
Earlier this year, our daughter decided she wanted a Nintendo Switch as her next big gift. Our babysitter used to bring hers over for them to play together on special occasions, so I am pretty sure I am not to blame. But whoever put the idea in her little head got it all the way stuck. Tooth fairy? “Nintendo Switch!” Birthday? “Enn Ess, Nintendo Switch!” Hanukkah? “The Switch, Dad! You already know!”
We’d been living an all-Nintendo narrative for months, which to be honest, I understood. As a Nineties kid who cherished my NES and Gameboy, my pixelated wishes may have transferred to her through our shared DNA. I spent so many hours gaming that I had to sneak around my parents to play more! My calloused thumbs and tired eyes were evidence of my obsession with the mastery of winning.
Anyway, she finally got her Nintendo Switch this month, on her seventh birthday. As soon as I brought the box downstairs, we opened it up together. Our anticipation rose like there were two little kids at the kitchen table. I set it up and gave her a brief tutorial. Then, she was off to the races. Just as I had thirty years earlier, she embarked on the start of her own storied video gaming journey. For twenty minutes.
WTF.
Time travel over–I became an adult again. Spiraling with frustration, I questioned everything about our decision to indulge her with a high-priced gift she would toss aside like that. Was she ungrateful? Why did she even want it? Should we return it? I didn’t need the answers right then and there. We both needed to hit the reset button on our expectations; hers about how much time it would take to learn everything, and mine for how much patience I assumed today’s archetype seven year old has for, well, anything.
When I was a kid (barf), having a console was just such a huge deal. The biggest deal. Games were expensive and the size of a small book, which meant we valued every single one we had. We’d have no choice but to practice them and try to play them through, because we only received new ones on special occasions. This is no longer that, obviously. Nintendo bundles its systems with the latest hit games, and for nostalgia’s sake, provides access to all the classics, too. The irony isn’t lost on me that I was fighting with my daughter over Mario Kart, the same game I probably fought my brother about back then.
The issue goes beyond video games, though. Entertaining this generation of young people is vastly different. This version of entertainment is fleeting, overstimulating, and above all, abundant. Multiple streaming services and social media platforms deliver us an unlimited supply of entertainment on demand. Facing the slightest tingle of negative energy–be that boredom, distaste, or frustration such as my daughter experienced in that moment–our current digital landscape enables us, even encourages us, to quit instead of stay. To flee instead of fight. To search for a quicker fix. How many nights have you scrolled Netflix for thirty minutes only to not choose a show, roll over, and go to bed? The biggest problem is that when you’re always searching for something else, it’ll be harder and harder to find it.
It’s not my daughter’s fault her Nintendo Switch world is completely different from my Gameboy world, and that she’ll never have any organic perspective to know the difference. But I do now realize it’s my job to manufacture some semblance of that for her. Going beyond the basics of just boundary setting, I need to engage with her to create a more valuable experience so she doesn’t just flip from game to game. I can be patient with her. Coach her. Encourage her. For a kid her age, the device doesn’t need to do all the work. It probably can’t.
After a few weeks of butting heads, we are hitting our stride. I am having so much fun playing Mario Kart 8 with her that I can’t wait for the weekend to play again. We’re trying other new things together, too, like a YouTube channel that teaches kids how to draw their favorite cartoon characters. I think she’s starting to learn that a challenge is half the fun, which makes me feel like I’ve already won.
Likes
The 2022 Economic Year-in-Review - Apricitas Economics writer, Joseph Politano, put together one of the smoothest summaries of everything that went down this year. His newsletter is a great way to get a fresh and matter-of-fact understanding of what’s currently going on in the economy.
56% of Americans Don't Have $1,000 Emergency Fund - Last Friday, I appeared on Cheddar to discuss the importance of having a cash reserve. Sure, saving cash for a rainy day is nowhere near as sexy as investing, but it’s one of the most important pieces of financial planning. Give it a watch.
Art for Kids Hub - As I mentioned above, my daughter and I learned to draw some of our favorite cartoon characters by visiting this amazing YouTube channel. I think our Bart Simpson and Gary look pretty good! Above all, it was a relaxing and engaging way to spend time together.
Tweets
My kid recommendation would be the Story Pirates podcast. My kids are obsessed. https://www.storypirates.com/
Just got a switch for my soon to be 8 year old daughter that's sitting on the Xmas tree so I will be going through these same life lessons/growing pains in the coming weeks. Wish me luck and if all else fails hopefully my Bart Simpson improves.